Officer Oink
Keeping you safe from freedom

"Without law there would be violence everywhere," Officer Oink says as he wipes the blood off of his bully-stick.

"Take this guy here," he says, indicating back towards the battered body on the ground. "We caught him carrying a gun, and then he ran away from us. Imagine what kind of horrendous act he could do with that kind of weapon."

Officer Oink's sworn duty is to protect people from the ravages of freedom--at least the ones within an invisible line across the dirt. Wherever he sees an infraction of the law, he steps in with overwhelming force to make sure that the law is obeyed. "Laws, after all, are here to protect you," he says.

The broken and battered body on the ground whimpers, "I was safer without the police."

"Shut-up!" screams Officer Oink. Then, turning back, he shakes his head and declares, "These people just never learn. If you break the law, we will catch you. The law doesn't care if you disagree with it, or think it is immoral--it doesn't matter. When they pass a new law tomorrow, I'll enforce that one too. My job is to force you to obey it; and if I have to break your bones and put you in chains to do it, then I will. That's what they pay me for."

When asked if the law's final edict is to obey or die, Officer Oink smirks and says, "Don't be silly, we're not killers." As he turns back towards his suspect, his firearm glints in the revolving blue lights.

View all of Officer Oink's posted content >>